I'm letting go

"Trust God from the bottom of your heart;

don't try to figure out everything on your own.

Listen for God's voice in everything you do,

everywhere you go;

He's the one who will keep you on track."

-Proverbs 3:5-6 (MSG)

I used to think that the older I got, the easier it would be to make decisions, when in fact I'm finding it quite the opposite. Making decisions about my future isn't easy, in fact it's really scary. Especially when you think about it as something that you have to decide soon to determine your entire future.

Things haven't been turning out the way that I want them to. My SAT scores weren't as high as I hoped, my school schedule is pretty intense, college decisions are completely overwhelming. It's just not turning out like I had imagined. But I think that's my problem. I need to realize that I don't control my life. Not at all. Not even a little bit. The sooner I realize that and stop stressing out the better off I'll be.

Now, I'm not saying that I'm going to stop making decisions and stop thinking about it all together. No, I can't do that. But I am going to let go of the stress. God's got this. He's got my future planned out for me. 

("I know the plans that I have for you, declares the Lord. They are plans for peace and not disaster, plans to give you a future filled with hope." -Jeremiah 29:11) 

"I'm letting go of the life I've planned for me,

and my dreams.

I'm losing control of my destiny,

it feels like I'm falling and that's what it's like to believe.

This is a giant leap of faith,

trusting and trying to embrace the fear of the unknown, beyond my comfort zone. 

My heart beats, standing on the edge.

But my feet have finally left the ledge.

Like an acrobat, there's no turning back.

I'm giving into your gravity,

knowing you are holding me.

I'm not afraid.

Feels like I'm falling and that's what it's like to believe."

-Francesca Battisetelli 'I'm Letting Go'